How to Handle College Rejection and Deferral

December, the twelfth and final month, brings a flurry of activity for everyone. For teens, however, the season presents a unique set of emotional hurdles. Particularly, high school students who submitted college applications in the early round of decisions are now receiving their highly anticipated responses. Each year, early decision results from colleges and universities begin arriving in students inboxes mid-month as the year winds down.

All the anticipation can be stressful. If you didn’t receive the news you wanted (whether that’s a rejection, deferral, or some other scenario) our counseling team has advice to help you recover and respond like a champion.

The winter holiday season, no matter how you celebrate, is an excellent time for rest and recovery. While the academic semester concludes and classes, final exams, and club events wrap up, pause a moment to appreciate the hard work you have already put into your dreams. Take care of your immune system with hot beverages and vitamin C to ward off the cold-weather sniffles. If possible, spend some time with those you care about in your life. These valuable moments will build your overall resilience and ability to handle whatever comes.

Additionally, try not to stake your whole identity on these admission decisions. Particularly if you don’t receive the news you were hoping for, it can be tempting to wallow in the grief process and sleep your winter break away. This video reminds students that while your emotions are definitely important and serious, sometimes action is the cure for disappointment:

Next, let’s take a look at the various scenarios you may encounter as a student waiting to hear your college admissions decision status from colleges and universities. Our expert college counselors offer their perspectives to help you process and prepare for your best outcome, no matter what the journey looks like along the way.

True, it’s not an immediate acceptance. For this reason, some students feel disappointed upon finding out that their early-round college application has been deferred to the regular decision pool. 

But there’s a silver lining! Our counselors remind students that these letters should be seen as a positive thing. It means this school considers you qualified and is still considering you. (If they weren’t serious, they would have outright rejected you.) The fact that your application is still in the running is a great start! So, what can you do about it?

“When I guide my students, I always suggest that they thank the school for continuing to consider them in the regular decision pool,” former Empowerly counselor Eli explained. “This is done via a Letter of Continued Interest, or LOCI, that they email to admissions.” 

The LOCI can include updates like: 

• research publications
• extracurricular developments (like new officer positions in clubs)
• competition awards
• outstanding scores or grades

… as well as any other unique updates that would help the acceptance committee better understand your talents.

Finally, in the LOCI, students should express why this school in particular is a good fit for you as a student. Be specific in your connections and honest in your reflections. If you can’t clearly state the school’s mission and purpose, be sure you review it.

If your early-round college application was denied, it’s important not to take it personally or get down on yourself. There are many reasons why you weren’t offered a place in the freshman class. After all, most schools have many more qualified applicants than they can possibly accept.

So, what does a rejection letter mean? And what can students leverage from this new information?

“First of all, it doesn’t mean you’re not good enough, and you may get into an equally great school during the regular decision round,” Eli said. “That being said, you can always use the period between early rejection and regular decisions to examine any weaknesses in your application.” 

Not only that, students who are looking for ways to take action to stay busy can pour their focus into targeted improvement. How will you make the most of this opportunity?

As a student, once you’ve submitted your application, it’s really out of your hands. The best thing you can do is remember to check your email and physical mail regularly for notifications, and continue to stay engaged with your classes and interests as usual.

If you have a loved one in high school, here are a few key ways that families can support their students when you’re waiting for your decision to arrive.

• Have a realistic view of your child’s strengths and abilities.
• Know that most students, even when not accepted to a top choice school, really like their college or university experience.
• Let your child share the news of acceptance, rejection, deferral, etc.
• Understand that for some students, this might be the first major rejection they have endured in their lives to date.
• Help to normalize the experience of being rejected or deferred. It’s okay to be sad and disappointed, but help them understand that other opportunities will be available.
• Avoid comparing your own college experience to your child’s. Remember, this is their college process, not yours, and it’s a different playing field now.
• Avoid comparing your child’s experience to friends or peers.
• Celebrate every acceptance; even if it is a “safe” school, it should be celebrated and enjoyed! 
• Be a sounding board and help your child consider the next steps.

Most of all, try to be extra sensitive at this time. The seniors are under a lot of stress. Remind your child frequently to hang in there, keep working, see a college counselor if they need it, and cross the finish line of senior year strong.

In the end, we know it’s an emotional rollercoaster that high school students experience during the college application process, particularly around the holiday season. Try not to get sidetracked entirely by whatever news you receive. The process isn’t over (and neither is your life). There are still options and opportunities out there for you. 

Our college counseling team’s advice encourages a positive mindset, resilience, and strategic responses to different decision outcomes. The emphasis on self-improvement and the importance of family support highlights a holistic approach to navigating the uncertainties of college admissions.