Your guide to college recommendation letters
Obtaining the right recommendation letters can make your college application shine in a crowded field of candidates. Letters of recommendation offer admissions officers something your test scores and GPA cannot—an outside perspective on your character, work ethic, and potential. But securing truly outstanding recommendation letters requires strategy, thoughtfulness, and advance planning.
Who do you ask for a recommendation, and how many should you collect? Where do you even begin?
In this guide, we’ll walk through everything you need to know on getting recommendation letters that strengthen your college applications and help you stand out. From choosing the right references (and how to make their job easier), we’ve got you covered with actionable advice that works.
Why recommendation letters matter
College admissions officers rely on recommendation letters to gain insights they simply can’t get elsewhere. Why? Because these letters serve as frames of reference, revealing how others perceive you.
Showcasing your academics is easy enough—your official transcript shows what you’ve accomplished and when—but recommendation letters show who you are. They highlight your character traits, work habits, intellectual curiosity, and potential contributions to your community.
In 2025, colleges are increasingly prioritizing character, leadership, and emotional intelligence in applicants. A great recommendation letter shouldn’t just highlight academic performance but also how you handle adversity, collaborate with peers, and contribute to your school or community. Choose recommenders who can illustrate your resilience, empathy, and problem-solving skills through personal stories.
What’s more, strong letters can help explain any unusual circumstances, provide necessary context for your achievements, and advocate for your admission. In fact, when competing applications are neck and neck, compelling recommendation letters could potentially tip the scales in your favor.
So, that’s it? Do I just need to secure multiple references?
Not so fast—not all recommendation letters are created equal. Generic, lukewarm references can actually hurt your chances. That’s why it’s crucial to approach this process strategically.
Here’s a great video that breaks down how to seek out compelling recommendations (it’s entertaining, too):
Who to ask for recommendation letters
Choosing the right references is perhaps the most important decision in the entire process. The best letters come from people who know you well and can share specifics on your strengths.
Teachers
Teachers are the most common recommenders, and for good reason. They’ve seen you perform academically, interact with peers, and overcome challenges. Consider teachers who have taught you recently (junior or senior year), preferably in core academic subjects related to your intended major.
But wait! Don’t just pick teachers who gave you an A. Instead, approach teachers who saw you grow, triumph over obstacles, and demonstrate exceptional qualities. Someone who watched you initially struggle but ultimately excel will likely write a more compelling letter than one who simply observed consistent perfection.
Coaches
Beyond teachers, consider other potential references who bring different perspectives. These might include:
- coaches who’ve witnessed your leadership and teamwork
- employers who can speak to your work ethic, initiative, and reliability
- research mentors who supervised independent projects
- community service leaders who can attest to your impact and commitment to others
Special Mentors
If you’re applying to an ultra-competitive major (like engineering, business, or pre-med), your letters should align with your intended field. For instance:
- STEM applicants: a letter from a research mentor or a science teacher can highlight your problem-solving skills and curiosity as these traits relate to your STEM interests.
- Business applicants: a letter from a debate coach or entrepreneurship advisor can emphasize your leadership and stragetic thinking in a business context.
- Pre-med applicants: a letter from a healthcare-related internship supervisor can showcase your commitment to patient care and ehtics.
Most colleges require between one and three letters. Typically, this includes at least one from a core academic teacher. But research the specific requirements for each school on your target list before finalizing your references.
When to ask for reference letters
Timing is everything when requesting reference letters. Too early, and your recommender might not remember when the time comes. Too late, and you’ll unintentionally impose a burden on their already busy schedules.
The ideal time to ask is toward the end of junior year. Why? Because teachers will have spent enough time with you to form thorough impressions, and they’re not yet inundated with senior-year recommendation requests.
By approaching teachers in May or early June of your junior year, you allow more flexibility for putting deeper thought into your references and writing letters over the summer when time is more readily available. It also gives you a safety cushion if someone declines or you need to find an alternative recommender.
But what if it’s already senior year—am I too late?
If you’re reading this as a senior who hasn’t asked anyone yet, don’t panic. Try to request recommendations at least 4–6 weeks before your earliest deadline. Any less might apply undue pressure, potentially resulting in rushed, less thoughtful letters.
How to ask for a letter of recommendation
The way you request recommendation letters sets the tone for the entire process. It’s important to keep in mind that writing these letters is a favor requiring significant time and forethought.
Always ask in person if possible. A face-to-face conversation shows respect for the commitment you’re requesting. If in-person requests aren’t possible (due to summer break or other circumstances), a thoughtful email is your next best option.
When making your request, be direct but humble. Say something sincere like: “I’ve really appreciated how much I’ve learned in your class, and I’m wondering if you would feel comfortable writing a strong letter of recommendation for my college applications.”
Note the phrasing: “feel comfortable writing a strong letter.” This gives the recommender an easy out if they don’t think they can write a compelling letter for you. It’s better to have someone decline than to receive a lukewarm recommendation.
We include several different examples for asking for recommendations in this blog post to help you make a clear and confident ask.
Pro tip: prioritize enthusiastic yeses. If a response is hesitant or conditional, graciously thank them for their consideration and approach someone else. Focus your time and energy on an enthusiastic reference who truly knows you and is happy to write an impactful letter.
Want a standout letter? Subtly remind your teacher of your impact in their class when appropriate. Before asking, consider gathering feedback from peers or referring to classroom experiences they may have forgotten.
Providing materials to your references
Once someone agrees to write your recommendation, your job is to make their task as easy as possible. Cue: the recommendation packet. Providing comprehensive supporting materials helps references write detailed, specific letters that are sure to impress admissions officers.
What to include in recommendation packets for references:
- the list of colleges and programs you’re applying to (with deadlines!)
- any special instructions for submitting letters—online systems, forms, etc.
- your resume or activities list highlighting extracurriculars, work experience, and accomplishments
- a brief personal statement (aka brag sheet) outlining your goals, values, and what you hope colleges will learn about you
- specific examples or highlights from your time with the specific recommender that they could potentially mention
- any special circumstances around your work that provide extra context
Some colleges (such as MIT, Brown, and certain arts programs) now accept video or alternative recommendation formats. If applicable, ask if your recommender would be open to recording a short video or audio testimonial alongside their written letter. This format can be especially impactful for creative fields, entrepreneurship, or leadership-based applications.
Don’t be shy about highlighting your achievements and positive qualities. Recommendation letters aren’t the time for modesty—your references need this information to advocate for you!
Following up (without being too pushy)
After providing your recommendation packet or other materials, you’ll need to navigate respecting the recommender’s time while ensuring your letter is submitted before the deadline. It’s a delicate balance!
Send a brief, polite reminder email 2–3 weeks before each deadline. Thank your reference again for their willingness to write a letter for you, and gently mention the approaching date. Most recommenders appreciate these reminders—after all, they’re likely juggling many responsibilities.
If a deadline is less than a week away and the letter hasn’t been submitted, a more urgent but still respectful reminder is appropriate. You might say: “I wanted to check in about my recommendation letter for XYZ College that’s due this week. Please let me know if you need any additional information from me. I appreciate your time on this!”
Some application platforms notify you when letters have been submitted. If you have one that doesn’t, it’s totally reasonable to ask your guidance counselor to check on the status without directly contacting your reference.
Last, but not least—the thank you
Expressing sincere gratitude is not just good manners—it maintains positive relationships that could benefit you in the future.
Send a handwritten thank-you note to each reference after they’ve submitted their letters. Mention specific aspects of your relationship that you’ve valued and express appreciation for their time and support.
Don’t forget to update your recommenders with your college decision outcomes. Chances are, they’re invested in your success and will be genuinely interested in your acceptance results.
Remember: the relationships formed now have the potential to remain valuable in the future. You might need recommendation letters for scholarships, internships, or other jobs later on. Maintaining goodwill through heartfelt appreciation pays dividends beyond your college applications.
Common issues & how to solve them
Sometimes, despite how carefully we plan, issues still arise. But don’t fret!
Here’s how to handle a few common challenges:
Your recommender misses the deadline
We repeat—don’t fret. This is why we set earlier deadlines before the official cutoff. If you’re in danger of a missed deadline, reach out immediately with a gentle reminder and ask how you can assist. Do they need more information? Are they needing a little more time to finish? Establish how close they are to finishing the letter. If they’re in danger of missing the official deadline or become unresponsive, speak with your guidance counselor immediately for alternatives and other solutions. Some colleges will understand the occasional delay, so if all else fails, be proactive and communicate.
Your recommender expresses doubt
If they agreed to write you a letter but later express hesitancy or doubt, consider releasing them from the commitment (depending on their reasoning). If releasing them, say something like: “I appreciate your honesty. It’s important to me to have strong recommendations, so I completely understand.” If you’re unsure of how to proceed, don’t be afraid to share your concerns with your guidance counselor for input. No matter what, try not to take it personally. References, especially teachers, keep busy schedules and might be juggling multiple recommendation letters at once. Focus on securing compelling letters from a few individuals rather than casting a wide net.
You’re considering submitting more letters than required
As always, exercise judgment and seek quality references over quantity. Only add supplemental letters if they provide truly unique perspectives not captured in your required recommendations. Consider submitting an additional letter if written by someone with relevant experience or distinction, addresses an application gap, or offers a completely nuanced take on your achievements and character. Always, always refer to the official instructions provided by admissions offices to avoid negatively impacting your application.
Your draft is clearly AI-generated
Whenever possible, avoid AI-generated recommendation letters. Some students provide AI-generated drafts to their teachers, thinking they’re being helpful. However, admissions officers are increasingly able to detect AI-written content. Beyond that, some universities now use text analysis software to assess recommendation letters for tone, specificity, and credibility. This means generic letters with vague praise won’t carry as much weight. If you offer a template, ensure it’s personalized and contains real, specific anecdotes and language.
Now, what if you’re an underclassman looking to be more prepared for this whole process? Excellent! There are a few tactical things you can start doing now.
Advice for underclassmen
If you’re reading this as a freshman or sophomore, you have a valuable opportunity to lay the groundwork for collecting outstanding future recommendations.
Starting now, you can build meaningful relationships with teachers by:
- participating actively (and thoughtfully) in class
- showing genuine interest in the subject matter
- seeking help when needed and demonstrating growth
- taking on challenges that showcase your capabilities
- demonstrating integrity and regularly helping others
If you may transfer colleges or later apply to grad school, maintain relationships with your recommenders beyond high school. Follow them on LinkedIn, send an update email once a year, or share exciting academic milestones. That way, if you need another letter in the future, they’ll still remember you well.
Just like seeking out recommendation letters, remember to engage deeply in a few extracurriculars rather than superficially in many. This helps coaches, club advisors, mentors, and employers get to know you well enough to write compelling letters when the time comes.
And don’t forget to document your experiences, achievements, and growth. Keep a journal of significant learning moments, challenges you’ve overcome, and projects you’re proud of. These notes will be helpful when you create your recommendation packet later.
The bottom line
Strong recommendation letters can transform your college application from a collection of numbers and activities into a vivid portrait of a promising student that any college would want to admit.
By carefully selecting references who know you well, asking respectfully and early, providing comprehensive supporting materials, and expressing sincere gratitude, you set the stage for recommendations that truly showcase your unique qualities and potential. Wanting the full guide on recommendation letters? Be sure to bookmark this page.
Recommendation letters should reflect relationships. The most compelling letters come from authentic connections with teachers and mentors who are genuinely invested in your success. Start building those relationships early, nurture them consistently, and approach the recommendation process with thoughtfulness and appreciation.
With the strategies outlined in this guide, you’ll be well-equipped to secure recommendation letters that strengthen your applications and help colleges see you for the exceptional student (and person) you are!
Wondering what’s next?
At Empowerly, we match students grades 6 and above with a dedicated counselor who guides them through preparing for the college application process—from developing interests and extracurriculars to mastering standardized tests, to writing application essays and building a balanced college list. Every student is unique, so our approach is tailored to the individual needs and goals of the student. To learn more, request a free intro call with us. Together, we can assess your application readiness and help strategize ways to achieve success in college and beyond.
